An atheist once told me that the only reason Jesus walked on the water is because he couldn’t swim.


Every time I hear the words, ‘I’m new here…’ I wanna say, ‘Keep coming back, it works!'”

After watching that video of Elizabeth Warren drinking a beer, all I could think was, ‘alcohol abuse.’ And it looked like such good beer, too.

Friends who stick with you in your darkest hours, probably didn’t pay their electric bill either.

Plot Device

“Hello?” I called out to the glowing eyes.

“Hello,” growled the Big Bad Wolf as he entered my campfires glow.

“Are you lost or something?”

“Something,” he answered, before asking, “Aren’t you not afraid?”

“Not one bit.”

“Why not?”

“I am master and you are subject.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You will,” I responded.

“I’m looking for Red Riding Hood,” he announced after a lengthy silence.

“Sorry, but she’s jus’ another plot device.”

“You mean like you?” Big Bad grumbled.

“No – like you.”

“Is that what I am?”

“Yes,” I answered calmly.

“So now what?” he asked, as he paced back-and-forth like a wild animal in a cage.

“Well, why don’t you join my pack?”

“I can do that?”

“Yup, but first have some Stephen King stew,” I smiled, “Made it myself.”

“What’s in it?”

“Another plot device.”

Big Bad hesitated, thinking before he asked, “What – did he refused to join your pack?”

I grinned, “Exactly.”

“A large bowl, if you please,” he stated as he settled in by the fire.

Turning on the lights and siren after losing a drag race is bad sportsmanship.

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