I found my toothbrush on the bathroom floor again. My extra-sensitive toothpaste doesn’t like it when I use another toothpaste.


If you sleep with a centerfold, expect to get a paper cut.

‘A way out,’ isn’t a good answer when asked what a person should look for in a relationship.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the end of the ‘blonde’ joke as we know it.

Give and Take of Winter

Mountain wind’s
Blow roughly
Through trees,
Breaking, frozen
Bows, falling,
Losing to
Gravity’s law.
Scattered atop
Snowy abundance.
Bundles gathered.
Kindling nighttime’s
Warming hearth.

Does wanting a Swatch watch constitute a midlife crisis? Asking for a friend.

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