Noah looked like an idiot, until it began raining.
Everyone told Beethoven that he couldn’t be a musician because he was deaf. He didn’t listen.
The two most dangerous places to be in the U.S. are in a law enforcement uniform and a woman’s womb.
Adam Levine shows-off both nipples during his Superbowl performance and yet Janet Jackson only gets to expose one. Hypocrisy!
“So you’ve been reading Mother Goose, huh?” Grandpa asked.
“Yup,” answered his eight-year-old grandson, “Though I don’t understand the one about the old lady living in a shoe with all those kids.”
“What don’t you get?”
“How she fit everybody in a shoe.”
“Would it help if I told you the old lady was actually a prison warden and the kids were really inmates?”
“No. I still don’t get it.”
“Well, what if I told you the shoe they lived in was a Secure Housing Unit or S-H-U, for short?”
“Oh, now I get it!”
The retired corrections officer smiled.